Okay. There is something else I really want to say. It’s been long over-due, and somewhat difficult for me to outwardly express, but here it goes.
If for whatever reason I have negatively affected you in any capacity during my years as a blogger, I sincerely apologize. One of the biggest reasons for shutting down my first blog was that I realized it had a lot of negativity attached to it…emotional baggage, so to speak. It didn’t help that I was trying to revive something that had already died. I was rude, opinionated, harsh, and critical. And in the process, I lost a lot of good followers and caused many people to think critically of me. Even though that was opposite of my goal.
Of course, I am still opinionated. To say that you aren’t would be hypocritical, as it comes with being human. But I have been making an effort to relay my thoughts in a more positive way, as I want to be someone who brings others up rather than tearing them down.
It isn’t necessarily that I am afraid of offending others. It’s that I am concerned that I could potentially and perhaps indirectly be the cause of somebody’s depression, self-hate, or insecurity. I have never intended to be a bitch, or cause any hurt feelings. Please understand that, while I displayed a lot of outward confidence, I still battled with quite a bit of insecurity myself. I was young, passionate, and trying to find my place. And unfortunately I got a little over-zealous with the feedback I was receiving, and that’s what lead to my downfall.
I did draw attention. A lot of it was very positive. But a lot of it was also very negative. At first I brushed it off and labeled it as “hating”, because I didn’t know any better. And while I realize that no matter what you do you will receive negative feedback in some way or another, I really think I could have done things differently. I think I could have approached things more maturely. But I was too caught up in trying to make a name for myself that I let myself get carried away, and really didn’t give a very good first impression to a lot of people.
I am still young! Only 20 years of age. But a LOT can change in four years. My mentality and perspective on life has done almost a 180 from where I previously was. I have been through anxiety attack after anxiety attack, medication, depression, failings, being broke and barely getting by, tears, sweat, and loss of friendships. But in the past four years I have learned a lot about myself, my desires, and my passions. It’s shaping me into a stronger person inside and out.
So I am very sorry if I have ever hurt anyone during that period in my life. I know I still have a long way to go with developing my character, but I should say I have taken some good steps so far and the changes I have made have all been positive ones. The desire and effort is there. This blog was one way of me starting over completely from scratch.
Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive to me in those times, and who has still supported me through all my changes. Thank you to everyone for the words of encouragement when I needed them the most, and for those who stuck by me even when everyone else walked away. Words can’t express how grateful I am to have developed the following that I have already. I feel very undeserving, yet very honored and appreciative.
I hope you will all continue to follow me in my journey, and if I can be of any help to you in some way, please feel free to send me a message any time. I don’t always have exactly the right words to say, but I am a FANTASTIC listener!!
Never settle for less. Improve always.
Wishing you all a wonderful week. ❤
I Lift So I Can Eat. 
Please continue to do what you do. You are an inspiration and as a long time follower of both this blog and the past, I appreciate your point of view. Not everything in life is rainbows and sunshine, especially in the lifting world when we deal with recovery, injuries, skeptics, critics, proper nutrition. etc! You are a beauty and a beast wrapped up into one kick ass package, and your fans (and your “haters”!) want to hear what you have to say, and want to read all about your training. Now, lets lift!
I only recently started following your blog so I don’t know what you are talking about but it’s courageous of you to post something like this. Can’t wait to continue following your blog!
i think by expressing all of that, your current readers respect you that much more because you were REAL and they can relate to your ups and downs. you definitely did something right in my books since you are now one of my best friends! 😉 ❤
Christine,
Your words have been nothing but a sweet and friendly voice to my ears. In my troubled times, you have provided inspiration. Made me smile. Please keep doing what your doing!
Christine, I’ve been following your blog for about 3 years now and I can’t think of anything you’ve said that would have been offensive? I loved the way you wrote on your last blog – you were opinionated, fierce and didn’t give a F. You were actually a big inspiration in starting my own blog. Sure, we all have moments where we look back at old posts and think, did I really post that? But I think that’s what makes blogging such a wonderful thing – we can always see how far we’ve come.
I still can’t believe you’re only 20 years old. I started blogging when I was 22 (24 now), and most people assumed I was older, but you’re so young and wise!
The person you are is shaped by the person you were, and you’re wonderful. It’s always refreshing to read your opinions and thoughts. You’re wise beyond your Years and I’ve often forgotten your age. Keep your head up and keep smiling because there is nothing about you that needs to change. I hope to always call you my friend.